


A Simple Favour

by MagpieMorality



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Baking, But also, Pre- Can LYING Be Good??, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Tags added as we go along, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, aka pre-deceit reveal in canon, these are all complex characters you guys, they're both convinced the other is inherently just wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpieMorality/pseuds/MagpieMorality
Summary: Deceit needs a favour from king of the castle Patton.But what? And more importantly- why?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. The Request

**Author's Note:**

> This came from a brief idea on Tumblr and gained a second part when these two wouldn't leave me alone. Figured I may as well crosspost onto here! 
> 
> Patton is not the nicest, but by his own reasoning he's very much in the right. Deceit is complicated, as usual. This is set before Deceit has been revealed to Thomas, but only by a few weeks.

“Morality.”

“Deceit.” The two sides nodded at each other, Patton slow and cautious- still trying to figure out the motive behind the other side’s sudden appearance in the living room- and Deceit graceful and courteous, but not close to respectful.

“Can I help you?” Morality asked, pulling his sweater down and finishing descending the stairs to stand in the living room facing the scaley side.

Deceit shrugged a shoulder and nonchalantly examined his fingernails… through his gloves. Patton wondered why he bothered putting on the show, and huffed impatiently, already irritated by the dark side’s presence as per usual. “I’m too busy for games, Deceit. You’ll have to get on with it if you have a reason for showing up like this, or I’ll keep going with what I was _actually_ meant to be doing.” His voice was more than a bit terse and he folded his arms sternly, but Deceit didn’t wilt like the light sides would have at the paternal disapproval, only shifting on the spot, meeting Patton’s eyes to raise an amused eyebrow at him, clasping his hands behind his back. He took a small breath before revealing his carefully prepared pitch.

“I am aware that we don’t get along in almost every circumstance, but in light of my unwavering and exemplary service to you and Thomas all these years-Anxiety notwithstanding- I thought I might ask for a small favour.” Patton pursed his lips, glancing behind him up the stairs to make sure no one was listening. Luckily there was no sign of movement in the hallway upstairs, but even so he stepped forwards to grab Deceit tightly by the arm and drag him to the kitchen where they’d have the most advance warning of interruptions, just in case.

“You know you’re not supposed to talk about that out loud up here!” He hissed, but Deceit just rolled his eyes, hiding it well if he was remotely bothered by the scolding.

“Have I or have I not done excellent work, just like you required?” He repeated insistently instead, looking at Patton. “It’s only a small favour, Morality, _honest_ …” His long pink scar flexed as his lips turned up in a lopsided smirk.

Patton let go and folded his arms again, drumming his fingers on one elbow while thinking it over. He knew the next stage of the negotiation would inevitably devolve into threats, and while Deceit perhaps didn’t wield quite the raw power and influence Patton did; he was perfectly positioned as gatekeeper to a force that _could_ significantly overpower Morality in the mindscape, should he choose to set it free.

There was only one thing for it.

“Very well, Deceit, name your request and I’ll consider it.”

The agreement clearly caught Deceit by surprise, prepared as he naturally was to have to get down and dirty in order to win what he wanted from Patton. He cleared his throat quickly, tugging at his cape. “ _I need to learn how to bake._ ”

They both stared at each other in the silence that followed. Patton blinked once, then twice, then a third time. “Excuse you?”

“I need to learn how to bake. Or, at least- just one recipe. And I’m not telling you why so don’t ask!” Deceit said defensively. Patton held his hands up, still very surprised.

“I… is that really all you wan- okay, _okay_!” Patton said, cutting off sharply when Deceit glared at his question. “That… is very grantable. I assume you were planning to start right now, seeing as how you’ve shown up just when I usually start breakfast?”

Deceit nodded slowly, waiting for Patton’s decision. Morality sighed and pulled his glasses off to rub at the bridge of his nose, buying a few seconds to compose himself and mentally prepare for the ordeal ahead. And then he looked the other side in the eye and gave him a slightly forced bright smile, chirping “then let’s get started!” with more gusto than he felt.

**Class had begun.**


	2. Baking Begins

“So first I suppose we have to decide what to make. There’s usually only about-”

“An hour and forty minutes until the others come down, yes,” Deceit interrupted, relaxing slightly as it became more and more clear that Patton was genuinely on board with the plan. Patton narrowed his eyes but didn’t question the detailed knowledge. He was aware Deceit had to have been spying on them for some while to have even chosen this particular moment to spring the request on him, so knowing how much time they had wasn’t a huge surprise, even if it was creepy and irritating for a whole bunch of reasons. 

“Exactly. So… Did you have anything specific in mind?” Patton continued, jaw tight as he tried not to let his annoyance bubble over. Sometimes it was inconvenient, being Emotions as well as Morality. So many of them were pesky and nasty and unhelpful. And _bad_. Right now patience was key, patience and positivity. “Is it… for a special occasion for example? Then we could make a cake. Or if it’s a little more casual then cupcakes are always good…?” 

Deceit looked thoughtful, but he visibly perked up at the second suggestion. “Yes, that one. Cupcakes. We can do different flavours, correct?” 

“Correct. Though that’s a decision again. We could do sweet ones or savoury muffins, with frosting or without…” 

“Muffins. Yes. With fillings.” 

“Muffins with fillings?”

“Muffins with fillings. Two types.”

“Two types of muffins with fillings,” Patton sucked in air through his teeth and fought to keep smiling. “Alrighty then. And what fillings?” 

Again Deceit looked thoughtful, but the spark of uncertainty in his eyes betrayed the fact that he’d clearly already made his mind up and was hesitating for appearances’ sake only. Patton knew uncertainty when he saw it- he lived with Virgil for pity’s sake. “Will you stop dragging this out and answer me honestly?! I know it’s not your forte but you asked me to help with this and we’re wasting time!” He snapped. Deceit just rolled his eyes and raised a well groomed eyebrow, his yellow eye narrowing. 

“I want one with some kind of lemon curd filling and one with raisins and chocolate inside. Happy?” 

Patton nodded sharply. “Done. Alright, here’s what we need…” 

***

Baking was supposed to be _relaxing_ , Patton thought, holding back a scream as Deceit poked the batter suspiciously. “What went wrong?” He asked, hair wild from frustrated tugging. “I thought I was very clear-”

“I did what you said! I did!” The other side retorted defensively, but the evidence in the bowl proved that to be false. Obviously, it was _Deceit_ , but still.

“Right. Let’s just… _start again_.”

***

Would this torment never end? They’d used half of their time already, and although Deceit had sworn blind that the ruined mix would have been fine if Patton would _just let him put it in the oven_ here they were making a new batch that was _still wrong_. 

Although this time Patton wasn’t sure why, because he’d very carefully supervised the entire process, and yet the mix was still all bizarrely congealed and lumpy. Deceit had switched to his second pair of arms when the first got tired trying to beat all the lumps out, but they’d made no progress for a solid five minutes and Patton was ready to call it quits. 

There was just something about the desperation in Deceit’s eyes, and reflected in his frantic attempts to fix their mess, that made the older side hold off for just a second. 

But it wasn’t worth it to keep trying. He grabbed the bowl from the protesting Deceit and vanished the contents with a click of his fingers before the other side could do more than reach forwards and shout in protest. Patton glared at him for making so much noise, and clicked again so the bowl filled back up with a perfect mix. Deceit’s shoulders visibly sagged, which was rude because Patton had just saved them a bunch of time and failed tries, and here Deceit was being ungrateful as always! 

He refused to think about why he shoved the bowl back into Deceit’s four currently materialised arms and told him to divide the mix into two, rather than just finishing the process himself. It wasn’t important anyway. 

*** 

The muffins were in the oven, somehow, against all conceivable odds. And gosh were they bad ones. 

Patton zoned out as the water ran over his hands, scrubbing finger by finger mindlessly as he thought more about the way Deceit was hovering in the corner watching the oven intently with his arms firmly folded. All four of them; he still hadn’t bothered to bring out the final pair. Why was this so important to him? His teeth were even looking a little sharp as he chewed on his lip, and his hat was nearly dislodged from it’s perfect position on his head from all the madness of the past fifty minutes. It was unusual, to say the least, but Patton knew better than to invite conversation. 

Mostly because he didn’t _want_ to. Deceit did his job and yeah, he did it well, but Patton was most pleased with his work when he did it well enough to be forgotten entirely. Which was decidedly not what was happening right now, and that was a little annoying (and his slip with letting Virgil escape had still not been dealt with, even all this time on) but he knew he would only be _more_ annoyed if he had to get involved with Deceit’s snarky replies and tendency towards lies. 

Look, just because it gave the desired outcome didn’t mean he had to like the methods. 

And even just _being_ here Deceit was messing with the way things were supposed to be- Patton was never able to conceal (don’t feel) his darker emotions when the side who acted as the stopper to that fun little jar was right next to him. 

Deceit shifted, peering through the glass window before sighing at the lack of change and lifting his hand to rake his hand through his hair. 

“It’ll be a while,” Patton warned him, turning the faucet off and grabbing a tea towel. “You’ll have to be patient.” He was sent a nasty look for his trouble and sniffed. “Fine, take them out too early then. I’m not speeding time up just for this. Logan would have a fit.” 

“What am I supposed to do in the meantime then?!” Deceit snapped, and they bristled at each other. 

What indeed? 


	3. Muffin-terlude

The kitchen was quiet.

Two sides stared at the currently cooling rack of very not-bad looking muffins. One of the lemon ones was a bit mushy at first glance but the rest were perfectly fine and normal, and smelled delicious to boot.

It was almost suspicious how well they’d turned out in fact, and Deceit glanced at Patton with narrowed eyes. “Did you mess with them again?” He asked, keeping his tone carefully neutral. Patton just cast his gaze upwards for strength briefly before replying. 

“Actually I’m as surprised as you are. I didn’t even touch the fillings, I swear.”

“… Okay good.”

Patton looked back at him, curiosity winning out over annoyance. “Why does this matter to you so much anyway? What could you _possibly_ care so much about some _muffins_ for?!”

Deceit scoffed. “ _You_ care about muffins all the time, don’t you? We smell it down there you know, all the sweet treats and wholesome white picket fence playtime you do.”

“Well, I mean I wouldn’t put it like _that_ , but yes I do bake quite a b-”

“And those aren’t even for special occasions, so why do you bother?” The side hissed, temper up defensively.

“… So they’re for a special occasion are they?” Patton thought out loud, tapping his chin, and Deceit almost squeaked in panic. “Well it was rather obvious, wasn’t it?” 

The kitchen fell quiet as Deceit mulled over his answer and Patton waited impatiently. He started tapping his foot when more than a minute had passed without any explanation, and Deceit bared sharp teeth at him. 

They stared at each other; Patton unimpressed and expectant and Deceit raising his chin. He wouldn’t be forced into giving Patton the truth today, not when he had all the reasons in the world to hold onto it for himself, not that Patton would understand that sometimes, just _sometimes_ ; honesty was not the best policy. 

“They’re for me. I’m… craving. All those good smells wafting down day after day- it was only a matter of time really,” Deceit admitted, with a rueful smile, eyeing the muffins instead of Patton. Could he escape with them? Probably not, they still needed icing and loathe as he was to admit it; he needed Patton’s help for that. Hopefully Morality would buy his lie for now. 

Patton didn’t buy it, but he was also just not up for the fight. “Fine,” he sighed, turning back to the counter. “Let’s just get this over with. Icing time.” 

How hard could it be? 


	4. Mystery Bun-solved

"Never- and I mean this in the _strongest possible terms_ \- never ask me to do this again," Patton said firmly, staring mournfully at the destroyed kitchen. It had seemed so simple, so easy to just ice the infernal sweet treats, but _no_. 

Nothing was ever simple or easy or 'just' anything with Deceit. And he should've known. 

Actually, Patton was still fairly confused how they'd managed to mess up so badly. Had it been the tension in the air and the way Deceit kept grabbing the bags to do it himself, or the way that Deceit had been snappy and rude when Patton had so kindly tried to teach him the correct way to do the piping? It certainly wasn't the way _Patton_ had grabbed the bag back, resulting in a small tug of war that had sprayed icing over far too many surfaces... Icing just shouldn't have that kind of reach, what the heck?! 

Deceit stood by the door where he'd been banished, holding himself stiffly in place. He was clearly still upset, and Patton rolled his eyes, setting to work scrubbing the counters while they both pointedly didn't mention anything that had transpired in the previous ten minute window. The icing that _had_ made it onto the muffins was still cooling and Patton had firmly put his foot down when Deceit had tried to insist on adding decorations to the top. Even if it might have given him a few more hints as to exactly what this whole darn process was in honour of; he couldn't bear to go through _that_ situation on top of everything else. 

No, Deceit would have to make do with his iced muffins and deal with it. Patton was done helping him. 

Time was nearly up, too. 

* * *

The ding of the alarm was loud in the silent room. Patton glanced up from wiping the coffee machine down (how had icing got all the way over _there_?!) and raised an eyebrow at Deceit. 

The other returned the look, warily hopeful and waiting for permission to move. With a nod, Patton gave him what he wanted, and he grabbed the muffins and fled, disappearing quickly back to the dark side he'd appeared from, leaving Patton blissfully alone and able to relax at last with the knowledge that they wouldn't be caught together. 

Logan came down not ten minutes later, surprised to find Patton only just making their breakfast, but not thinking to question the change in routine. The others joined soon afterwards, and at last the day could continue as normal, and Patton resolved to put the whole thing out of his mind and forget about it entirely. It would do him no good to dwell. 

_Except_. 

Except he couldn't stop wondering what on earth the whole thing was about. Deceit was, well, Deceit- he didn't just show up to make muffins with Patton and then vanish into thin air. Patton went round and round and round theorising about what the possible motive could have been. 

Distract Patton so that Remus could get up to no good? No; Remus wasn't subtle, if he'd been causing mayhem they'd have already noticed. 

Make Patton an accomplice in a poisoning murder plot against another side? Unlikely; Deceit wasn't self-preservation for nothing. 

He genuinely was craving muffins and needed Patton's help? Impossible. Not just because Deceit of all people couldn't be telling the truth; but because Patton knew clear as day that Deceit wouldn't voluntarily risk the secrecy of their work and voluntarily spend time with him just because he had a bit of a sweet tooth. 

It was an interesting mystery, one Logan would've no doubt enjoyed solving, but Patton couldn't share it, and so it remained unsolved. 

Two full days passed before Patton would learn the answer to the motive behind the bizarre request. Two days of quiet and peace and calm and normality reigning over them as ever, thanks to his hard work (and some help from the other side). Two days and then it finally all made sense...


	5. The Muf-finale

It was morning and the house was quiet. Thomas hadn't slept too well the night before and they'd all been up late dealing with the impending issue, which left Patton yawning and rubbing his eyes, still in his teddy-bear patterned pyjamas when he wandered down to start breakfast that morning. He was wondering if today would end up being Thomas's breaking point and subsequent filming day, and if so what he could offer to help, and whether or not he was a bad person. Yeah there was currently a lot going on for Patton to work through... 

Which was why it took him a full minute to notice the plate on the table as he wandered around the kitchen getting himself a cup of coffee.

Patton stopped abruptly, mug in hand, staring at the odd sight; there on the table was a selection of the muffins he distinctly remembered making along with Deceit only a couple of days before, all eight decorated beautifully and differently. A card lay on top of them- not addressed to anybody- and Patton was willing to bet that it and the muffins were meant for him. Only one other side had previously taken advantage of his early morning routine, and this was entirely his style. 

It was weird though, why save the muffins until now? Why decorate them so well after struggling so much when they'd tried before? And also _how_ on earth had Deceit managed to dress them up like this in the end? 

What was he playing at this time?

Patton picked up the card, turning it over a couple of times to check that the message was the only thing written there. The card simply read, 'muff-enjoy them', which only served to further Patton's surety that Deceit had intended them for him and him alone. He was annoyed that he actually kinda loved the pun, but reasoned that of _course_ Deceit would know exactly how to win him over; so it was okay to, well, _be a little won over_. He set the card aside and picked one of the muffins up, admiring the delicate piped roses and the little fondant hearts on top of it. Another had his heart and glasses symbol drawn in little silver edible balls, and a third was topped with a marzipan puppy face. They were pretty _sweet_ , actually. 

Maybe it was all just the offering it appeared to be? Patton rubbed his arm absently, considering his options carefully and coming up with nothing overly nefarious. The likelihood of poison was low, considering both that he'd actually been there when they were made- and sure maybe the toppings were suspicious but he could easily avoid those- and also the fact that it was very much _not_ in Deceit's own personal interests to off Patton, or indeed any other side. Pretty firmly against the self-preservation M.O., that. 

They looked perfectly normal. They smelled...

Oh _gosh_ , they smelled _divine._

The first one was gone before he'd even consciously registered that he'd made the decision to eat them, and the second followed hot on its heels. They were unbelievably addictive, full of the nostalgia of muffins past and the sweetness of a thousand happy memories, and he couldn't stop once he'd started, barely able to enjoy each one, eating his way through half of the stack in only a few minutes. He started to feel odd, and dimly alarm bells rang. Something was _wrong_ , but he couldn't stop, he _couldn't stop_ and why had he eaten so many of them so quickly why wasn't he stopping _why couldn't he **stop-**_

Patton whimpered softly, staring in horror at the final muffin as his fingers reached for it without his say so, trembling as he tried hard to stop them from moving. There was a brief moment when it seemed like maybe he'd break out of the spell and manage to stop himself, and his jaw clenched with the effort.

But then, from behind him, there came the sound of soft footsteps. His eyes widened but his head wouldn't turn and he couldn't do anything more than softly whimper again as a gloved hand slipped under his elbow and along the underside of his arm, helping guide it by the wrist to the plate and then up to his mouth. The final muffin went down slowly, bite by agonising bite, and took Patton's consciousness with it, vision fading steadily to black until he swayed and fell back into Deceit's waiting arms. 

"There we go," Deceit murmured as he hefted Patton up into a bridal carry and flicked his fingers to disappear the plate and card, before whisking the unconscious side up to his room and tucking him into bed carefully. His face was drawn, conflict between triumph and guilt warring visibly over his features.

He swallowed thickly as he looked down at Patton, peacefully asleep in his room of pastel dreams, stroking the bangs off his face so they wouldn't tickle his eyelids while he slept. "I'm sorry," Deceit whispered as guilt won out. "It was the only way- I just want to _see_ him, just once, with my own eyes like you get to. I want to know he's looking at me, even if he doesn't know me, and you'd _never_ say yes if I asked permission so-" he sighed, short and frustrated. "I guess I'll just have to beg your forgiveness when you wake up instead. God you're going to be so _angry_..."

Patton's room hummed with the undercurrent of voices from all the memories stored inside it, and Deceit drew in on himself, glancing around nervously. He knew the threat memories could hold within all too well. "I don't know why I'm bothering to tell you any of this anyway, you can't hear me. I'm just another voice among the rest in here."

He stood and turned away, morphing into Patton over the course of the few steps it took him to reach the door, where he paused and glanced back one last time. He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat, lifting his head up high and stepping out into the mindscape with a big smile and a jaunty walk, humming to himself. 

Little did Deceit know that far from the quick wish fulfilment he'd hoped for it to be; that day's filming session would be a dramatic and unexpected reveal, one no one (least of all him) was prepared for. Thomas would be fundamentally changed by the events that were about to unfold, and self-preservation was going to have his work cut out for him in the days and months that were to follow... Entirely unintentionally.

It was only meant to be a simple favour, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> The alluded to day of filming is of course; the Can LYING Be Good?! video, where Deceit first got his reveal. 
> 
> :)


End file.
